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Photo reblogged from dearly disturbed with 28 notes
Let me preface this by saying that, although I appreciate every single one, I’m not looking for compliments or reassurance. I get told that I’m beautiful every day, multiple times a day, but it never changes the way I feel about myself. This has been really weighing on my mind lately and I’m not even sure what I want to write about exactly.
I’ve written about my struggles with my own body acceptance multiple times now. Sometimes acknowledging that loving myself is not an easy thing. How I really envy other girls for being able to really accept themselves for who they are, what their body looks like right now. I get so frustrated with myself because like with every other area in my life, I feel like I make progress sometimes, either by finding beauty in my body or by realizing it doesn’t even matter, only to feel suicidal the next day over the fact that I have a big tummy, a small butt, no hips, thin lips, a double chin, a roll on my thigh that makes me look like I have baby legs, my huge arms, my wide shoulders, the fat on my back, there’s so much wrong that I see when I look at myself. I can look at any other woman and see nothing but beauty, big bellied and all. But accepting myself just seems so impossible some days. More often than not. It makes me feel like a fraud because how can I promote something so passionately while still struggling with it myself? Everyone has bad days, insecure days, ugly days, days where they completely second guess their own self acceptance. It’s so exhausting for me.
Tumblr has really been a place that has both helped and has hurt this. I think I started this in early 2011. Before then, I would have never even entertained the idea of posting full body photos, let alone photos of my body without any clothes. After finding really inspirational women on here, I was able to find some of that within myself. But at the same time, Tumblr preaches this “self love” mantra while actually maintaining the whole “in order to be heard, you need to be beautiful” idea. Even amongst other fats, there seems to be an appealing and an unappealing way to carry your weight. If you’re not an hourglass (even if you’re 300+ pounds, so long as you’re an hourglass), double-chinless, universally accepted pretty faced fat girl, well, the visibility and enthusiasm about FAT! ends there. Even then, you have to be a well dressed fat. Which means you need at least a decent amount of money. Not to mention that so many people preaching this are fucking beautiful and while I feel uncomfortable saying this, I feel there is truth to it; it’s just easier to accept yourself when you are actually fucking beautiful. That’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it. Keep being great allies for fat bodied people, but it’s hard to take you seriously, is all.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. I think I’m just really sick of it, and sick of myself for even caring in the first place. I think of myself as ugly, a lot, almost all of the time. If someone calls me beautiful I shrug it off and somehow convince myself that they’re just not seeing what I really look like, even if they’re naked with me in my bed, lights on, body exposed, no makeup. You can’t possibly think I’m beautiful because I’m just not. You’re blind, you’re sick, there’s something wrong with you if you believe that. End of discussion. That is how I feel so much of the time.
I get frustrated with myself because I don’t place human value on beauty. At least not for other people. I’m not a boring or empty person(or maybe I am, but I don’t think I am), either. I have interests and hobbies. I’m a fucking goddamn fantastic musician. I play piano better than anyone I know. I can write a decent song. Draw a decent picture. Express myself coherently. I have a sort of okay voice sometimes. I’m able to carry on conversations even though my anxiety is always so high. I’m a good friend. I’m as perfect a girlfriend as I can be. None of this changes the fact that I spend far too much time crying over my physical appearance and feeling subhuman because of it. Feeling unworthy of any love and I don’t know whether that particular thought was ingrained in me when I was being abused or if it’s something I’ve developed as I got older and experienced the loss of every single person I’ve ever loved romantically. There has to be a reason they left. People don’t leave people who are worth sticking by, right? I can’t help but always coming back to the same conclusion that they couldn’t see a real future with someone so grossly hideous, that even though they maybe liked to fuck me, they wouldn’t want their friends or family to know about this fetish they had, because you have to have a fetish to fuck me, right? Obviously not, but I’m so convinced of this shit sometimes. The thoughts are so loud and so much more convincing than anything positive.
I don’t think it’s possible for me to just love myself. Maybe there’s something deeply wrong with me or maybe I’m just fucking hideous and shallow enough to care so much. I don’t know, either way, it doesn’t change the outcome. Feeling like my boyfriend would be so much happier with every single pretty girl I see, feeling like no matter how great a song I write is - it doesn’t matter because of my face. Everything I have to offer anyone is overshadowed by the fact that I’m ugly. And maybe being ugly isn’t such a terrible thing but it’s something I need to accept in order to move on from it.
How boring is it to be so stuck on your appearance? Extremely fucking boring. Which is why I feel this sense of urgency to really really really accept the fact that I will never be actually beautiful and I can move on to other things.
My feelings lately remind me of this video by KaraKamos, “On Being Ugly”, it really resonated with me when I first watched it about a month ago and still does.
I feel like this was a huge wall of nonsensical text but I had to get it out. Sorry if you read it/thanks if you did/I hope it makes sense/probably doesn’t.
aaah, i know these feelings all too well, it feels as if i could have written this. :( also, awesome video. after 20+ years of hating myself for being ugly, i’m just beginning the steps of accepting it and understanding that being ugly isn’t the end of the world, and i can still carry on and do whatever. but of course i have my bad days and slip up a lot, because you can’t undo a lifetime of conditioning overnight. but i’m making baby steps, so that’s worth something.
Photo reblogged from She's Completely Mad with 33 notes
been waiting for a chance to post this. :D this is one of my most favorite commission jobs i’ve done recently. it’s for loveisthenewpunk of her mascots Emilie & Marina for her new clothing line, Pink Lightning! her clothes are super cute with a punk edge and one-of-a-kind, so check it out! i hope maybe in the future she might be able to offer plus sizes also? ;)
Emilie and Marina are a mermaid and selkie (respectively) who end up joining an all-girl biker gang on land called the Wet Ladies. apparently they’re going to star in their own comic, so keep your eyes on the Pink Lightning site for that!
Aaah, Kaylie you are so sweet!!!! I hope you’re not sick of me telling you how much I love your art, cause I’m not gonna stop! <3 Haha
And I am definitely working on adding some plus-size pieces. A friend of mine just agreed to be my adorably curvaceous fashion guinea pig. :)
Thanks a million for doing this commission!!! <3 <3 <3
yay, fat mermaids rejoice! :D
thanks for commissioning me to do something so awesome!<3
Source: kayliesaurusrex
Link reblogged from Diary of a Skin Picker with 13 notes
Diary of a Skin Picker: Emotionally Absent Mothers and Picking →
A few days I started to read a book called “Emotionally Absent Mothers: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed” by Jasmin Lee Cori. And I was immediately blown away. Many of the things I’ve been talking about in PTSD therapy came up in the first half of the book. (I’m not even…
Photo reblogged from Oh, You Pretty Things with 176 notes
sketchbook page
drew a bunch of animals who think they’re people and then was for whatever reason stricken with the impulse to write “pussy” over and over and over in different fonts and… i just…
i can’t explain myself.
Source: puppytube
Link reblogged from Kitten. with 89 notes
Kitten.: christinaaguilerasboobies: mandatorymomjeans: imagine a hot dad... →
imagine a hot dad helping his baby paddle through the water and making sure its floaties are on straight and also he has crow’s feet from smiling so hard. a lil squint because he left his bifocals on the pool bench. FUCK.
where is…
Source: mandatorymomjeans
Photo reblogged from Creations from a young mind♥ with 57,772 notes
This is interesting. After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.
Bananas contain three natural sugars -sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.
But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
DEPRESSION: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
ANEMIA: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
BLOOD PRESSURE: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
BRAIN POWER: 200 students at a Twickenham school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packe d fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
CONSTIPATION: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
HANGOVERS: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
HEARTBURN: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
MORNING SICKNESS: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
MOSQUITO BITES: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
NERVES: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system..
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
ULCERS: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
TEMPERATURE CONTROL: Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, ‘A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away!’
I always make sure I get at least a banana in each day
Knew I loved them for a reason.
yes, bananas!
Source: veganmovement2012
Quote reblogged from ahh mmm burr with 28,209 notes
The thing about patriarchy is that individual men, gay and straight, are often really wonderful people who you love deeply, but they have internalized some really poisonous shit. So every once in a while they say or do something that really shakes you because you’re no longer totally certain they see you as a human being, and you feel totally disempowered to explain that to them.
(via softmonologues)
Have I reblogged this before?
Do I care?
(via stfufauxminists)
See: me, all my male friends ever. I love my guy friends, I really do, but that doesn’t stop me from getting incredibly upset when one of them questions, for example, the idea of privilege, or the pervasiveness of sexualized art in comics. Or makes a rape joke. It’s like suddenly being reminded how very different our perspectives are and though I can make strides and try to explain things and maybe make some parallels (my boyfriend is very receptive to this; thank you, boyfriend), there’s just some things that some of my guy friends will never even be able to comprehend and it’s supremely frustrating.
(via bemusedlybespectacled)
This is every man I have ever been in a relationship with, ever been related to, ever been friends with. Pretty much.
(via thechocolatebrigade)
Source: lasluchasdelcorazon
Photo reblogged from with 425 notes
Elvira Mistress of Dark
I don’t wanna finish shit lately, I’ll try to finish this…eventually. Because Elvira rocks! And also because cartoony-er style is fluffy and comfy for me though if I go steady with it I’ll miss the zillion details, but yeah, cartoony-er is how I roll sometimes…I’m strong believer that one can have a personal style and shift it with different styles (cartoon, comic, etc) and still be recognizable among one personal style overall ;)
looks great! i love the way you use hands to full effect in your drawings!
Video reblogged from OVC: CONVERSATIONS FROM THE COMIC BOOK STORE. with 35 notes
Dutch Ninja Turtles video called ‘Turtle Tunes.’ It’s really something.
my god. their over-sized, maniacally grinning heads. O_O
Photo with 33 notes
been waiting for a chance to post this. :D this is one of my most favorite commission jobs i’ve done recently. it’s for loveisthenewpunk of her mascots Emilie & Marina for her new clothing line, Pink Lightning! her clothes are super cute with a punk edge and one-of-a-kind, so check it out! i hope maybe in the future she might be able to offer plus sizes also? ;)
Emilie and Marina are a mermaid and selkie (respectively) who end up joining an all-girl biker gang on land called the Wet Ladies. apparently they’re going to star in their own comic, so keep your eyes on the Pink Lightning site for that!
Photoset reblogged from Jason JFish Fischer Likes: with 4,223 notes
you can have it all
Source: cartoonfuntime
Photo reblogged from Jason JFish Fischer Likes: with 19 notes
A page from the Burgermancer #1 comic “Fast Food Fable”, a fast food take on West Side Story.
Get the Burger Lover’s zine Burgermancer #1 at my Etsy store!
Source: studiojfishart
Photo reblogged from Kitten. with 254 notes
Spooky Jerk
That’s some good lipstick
damn
Source: bigfatcherrybomb
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